Reflections from Friday

For those who read this blog and attended Grace Point Church on October 11, 2009, you met one of my dearest and closest friends, Friday Siyambamba, a Zambian church planter.  God enabled Friday, through His divine hand and provision, to come and be with us for a short visit.  My family and I have been able to share the past five days with him through reconnecting, pouring into each other, and  showing him America from our perspective.  It forced Lori, the kids, and I to beg the question: How do you show someone who lives in the african bush with out electricity and on a dirt floor – America in 5 days?  What does a person need to see the true fabric and feel for our culture, worldview, and ways. I could immediately think of three things we American’s do well and with great regularity: shop, entertain, and eat.

Friday has taken in a lot over the past 5 days.  At times I found him just standing observing our lives, interactions, our ways, busyness, and customs.  He was silent much of the time that we were driving and would every now and then speak out a random observation.  Things like: “Your trees don’t have thorns.” (it seems that everything in Africa has thorns attached to them) or “Your roads are very good” (There are basically two paved roads beyond the cities in Zambia, a road that runs North and South and one that runs East and West.  Both are filled with huge potholes).   The last question he asked on the way to the airport for his return trip home was if we had elephants here.  He said he hadn’t seen any.:) His observations are real and raw at times.  So yesterday I gave him the assignment of writing down a few observations that he had made about America (the good, bad, and ugly).  I said let them be as they come to your heart.  So I want to list out with very little commentary his observations.  All I say will be in brackets [  ]. I will let you draw your own conclusions and applications.  Whatever you do, don’t just read them.  Let them read you.

1. America is a developed country.
2. Law is enforced.  I don’t see the windows of corruption.
3. People live in towns.  I didn’t see a village.
4. People are very busy.   [OUCH!!]
5. People don’t live in extended families. [in Africa it is not uncommon to share the raising of your children and the caring of your elderly together as a family in one home or courtyard]
6. Men do jobs for women.  Kitchen and washing, etc. [Go ladies! You have trained us well:)]
7. Family is important. Spending time with kids is important. [Friday was impressed that both sets of Grandparents, a couple of nephews all came out for Joshua's Saturday morning football game]
8. Everybody is shopping almost everyday. [welcome to the world of consumerism and materialism]
9. No chitenge for women. [women wear a cloth covering around their waist or on their heads as an all purpose material and for decor.  It is a customary dress for women]
10. No babies carried on the back of a mother. [once a baby is born until another baby is born (there are no planned pregnancies) or until they are up to 2 years old their mother will carry her babies with her on her body, creating a tremendous bond between mother and child that will last their life time.  We saw a difference in the bond between Lori and Joshua verses our other two because Lori carried Joshua on her back while living there.]
11. Always on program [this one hurts about as bad as the always shopping observation.  A program is translated as a "schedule" for us.  He is saying we are always going and preparing to go and do something.  It has been said in Africa that "missionaries have watches but African's have time."  Friday noticed that everyday we were going, going, going; doing, doing, doing.  It is not uncommon for an African to wake every morning and not know what he will do that day other than live in that day.  Many African's live the motto we Americans throw around, but never are able to master: "Live in the moment." ]

Friday begins his journey home today taking a little of America with him.  I know for those who spent some time with him while he was here, he left a little bit of Africa in our hearts.